A truly lamentable and evil attitude in many women is their plot of creating a wedge between their husbands and their parents. The woman in her ignorance and selfishness feels that her husband should practically sever his ties with his parents. She wants to lay all claim to her husband as if he has become her chattel by virtue of Nikah.
She should understand that a man marries not for severing his ties with his parents nor to become the servant of his wife. If he happens to be a cuckold, then obviously this naseehat is not for him. Women who behave in this manner are utterly cruel. They invoke the Curse of Allah Ta’ala on themselves.
In these times we observe that inspite of living in a palatial home with ample space, the wife of the house is not prepared to allow her husband’s parents to live with them even if all facilities are separate and she enjoys her privacy. Parents who brought into this world their son, who suffered and sacrificed for him until he married, today are unable to live under the roof of their son simply because of a vixen who displays her satanic attitudes of spite, selfishness and malice.
While a wife expects her husband to cultivate the best of relationship with her parents and run at their beck and call, she has a ‘natural’ (nafsaani) aversion for her husband’s parents in particular and for her in-laws in general.
If the husband happens to be a man of strong will, ignoring his wife’s haraam desires, and brings his parents to live with him, the path for misery is paved. His wife will commence with swelling up her face, like a balloon. Everyone knows the rest of the story which will unravel in the aftermath.
For the sake of satisfying her inordinate nafsaani and evil desires, she become blind to the consequences of the evil path she chooses. She recklessly ruins her life, the life of her children and opts for even terminating the marriage. This is happening in increasing numbers in our days. Too many such cases are unfurling infront of our eyes.
It is imperative for women to understand that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) observed on the Night of Mi’raaj that most inmates of Jahannum will be women. When the women enquired of the reason for this state of affairs, Nabi-e-Kareem (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) attributed the cause of their entry into Jahannum to ingratitude for their husbands and their abundance of curses.
Women have absolutely no right whatsoever to demand to live in a house completely apart from their parents-in-law. The Shariah gives her the right of separate and private accommodation. But this does not mean that she can demand a separate house in which she cannot tolerate the presence of her husband’s parents. As long as her husband provides such accommodation for her, whether in a separate house or whether in the same house in which his parents live, in which she has her privacy and is not compelled to serve on his parents against her will, her waajib right of Suknaa (shelter or home) has been satisfied in terms of the Shariah. She cannot insist that her husband accommodates her in a house where his parents will not be allowed to live.
The naseehat which we have provided here is for such women who are oppressive and make un-Islamic demands on their husbands. They are selfish and malicious. We are aware of the other side of the spectrum as well. Those women who are enslaved by their in-laws obviously are not the target of this naseehat. Insha’Allah, there will be another Naseehat for their husbands and in-laws in a future issue.