Islamic Widget

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

NASEEHAT FOR YOUNG WIVES


Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said that if he had to order any person to prostrate (make sajdah) for another person, and if this was permissible, he would have commanded the wife to make sajdah to her husband.

This o­ne Hadith is more than adequate to show the high rank which the husband has over his wife. Besides this Hadith, there are numerous other Ahadith as well as Qur’aanic aayaat which declare the higher rank of the husband with emphasis and clarity.



MARRIAGES

In this age of western liberalism which has been adopted by Muslims, the very same evil trend of marriages collapsing and ending in divorce for sport and fun, has overtaken the Muslim community. No longer is Nikah and the home regarded as the holy institutions which Islam has ordained. In addition to the evil of western liberalism another factor which is increasingly contributing to the break down in marriages is the misconception of their rights which girls gain from girls madrasahs.

RIGHTS

They emerge from the madrasahs having understood o­nly that they have rights — that the Shariah has given them Waajib rights — that it is not necessary for them to do domestic chores — that instead of them being servants in the marital home, o­n the contrary, their husbands should be their servants. While they learn about their right of a separate home, away from their in-laws, they are not taught that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) warned: "Woman! Your husband is either your Jannat or your Jahannam."

While they emerge from the madrasah with the idea firmly embedded in their minds that they are not obliged to render any service to their mothers-in-law, they are not taught that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) warned:

"Neither the Fardh nor Nafl Salaat (nor any act of ibaadat) is accepted of the wife who has displeased her husband."

Girls who marry in this age are obsessed with their rights. They enter into marriage with the idea of severing the holy relationship which their husbands have with their parents and family members. From the very first day a young wife arrives at her husband’s home, she initiates her scheme of achieving separation from her in-laws. In the process of conniving to be separated from her parents-in-law, she creates many upheavals in the home, leading to rupture in relationships and misery. Even if she ultimately succeeds in her scheme, she departs from the home of the in-laws leaving behind a legacy of bitterness, enmity and misery.

TALAAQ

In many cases the marriage simply ends in Talaaq. It is imperative that the seniors of the young girls explain to them what exactly Nikah and making a home are. Some girls enter into Nikah understanding that it is freedom from parental control and freedom to wander around. When they realise that they have simply passed from o­ne control to another control, they become rebellious and the worst of nafsaaniyat surfaces to ruin the marriage.

AKHLAAQ

It is essential that young wives and prospective wives understand that marriage is a holy bond. A happy marriage is not based o­n demanding rights. Happiness in a marriage is the product of understanding, patience, toleration, refraining from demanding rights, service to in-laws and total obedience to the husband. Without display of good conduct, happiness in marriage is not possible.

HOME

The young wife should understand that o­nce she has married, her new and permanent home is the home her husband places her in, whether it is a separate house or the home of his parents. His parents are now her parents. Her parents have become strangers to her. The home of her parents is no longer her home. She cannot hope to gain happiness by keeping o­ne leg in the home of her parents and o­ne leg in her marital home.